This is a warning to you all lest you would turn out like this lady…

Alright, as I was getting out of my vehicle (I drive a sexy, little 1993 Saturn sedan, but that’s not important), I noticed a very pregnant woman yelling at her two young girls perhaps about how much they annoy her and that she cares for them as much as she does maintianing a civil demeanor (which would be zero). I could see that she was holding a Bic ballpoint pen, which I supposed she implemented for marking down infractions relating to a child "driving her crazy" (i.e. drawing her attention to themselves, asking questions, etc.). I thought, "Is that really what it is like having a child? I breed them into existence only to be forced to care for them, teach them, and entertain them when necessary? If that is what would be required of me, no thanks!".

Anyway, as I pulled my pestilent plastic Fred Meyer bag from my alluring automobile, I heard the lovely mother of 2.5 children yell "We’ve been out of the house for less than 5 minutes and you’re already driving me crazy!". Then she lifted the ballpoint pen to her lips, flicked the lighter in her other hand, and…...lit up…....the…..pen?

This is why I think I generally hate people. Some, not most.